Saturday, April 01, 2006

Brave New Prestige Class


This artwork is by John Kovalic.
Not only was permission given, but he e-mailed me the picture.
So there.
Anyone who thinks John and I aren't friends can just shut up now,
because he said I could post this here.
And that's exactly what I'm doing.
Suck on that PsychoMagi78.
Oh yeah. See dorktower.com for more... I guess.

Power Gamer
The power gamer is a uniquely powerful, but limited ally in the fight against evil. Often times, he delivers the final blow against an adversary after a debate over rules or an abuse of a loophole. Tropes of the power game include Cleave, Great Cleave, and Combat Reflexes used in conjunction with one another, over and over again. Improved Sunder is also good, but without the splat-effect this ability won't see as much use. Those characters looking for a little more punch to their already powerful character, need look no closer than this obviously WOTC-approved prestige class.
Hit Die: d12*

Requirements
To qualify as a power gamer (PRiK), a character must fulfill the following:
Alignment: What's this?
Base Attack: +5 at 4th level
Feats: All the good ones.
Special: The person playing this character must have argued at least once per session with the DM up to the time this class was taken, and must continue to argue once per session or lose these abilities the way a paladin loses his stuff.

Class Skills
The power gamer's class skills are whatever he/she wants, because no one wants to bother fighting about it.
Skill Points at Each Level: How many do you need?

Class Features
All of the following are features of the power gamer and the power gamer prestige class.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: As if you don't know.
Spells: Yeah, whatever.
Bonus Languages: Why? Is he going to roleplay?
Kick it in the Junk: At 1st level, the power gamer learns to end every argument with a kick to the junk or a threat of a kick to the junk.
Good at Math: At 2nd level, the power gamer becomes good at math, but really he always was. He's just vindicated now. Take that Mr. Dungeon Master.
Tantrum: At 3rd level, if the power gamer ever fails at anything, he can throw a tantrum. This tantrum can last for a number of rounds equal to 3 + his Constitution bonus (there's no way it'll be negative). During this time, the power gamer cannot fail at anything
Rules Lawyer: At 4th level, once per session, the power gamer need not open his PHB to win an argument. He automatically does. At 7th level, he can perform this action twice per session.
Asperger was Here: At 5th level, the power gamer can recite page, paragraph, and verse. If the power gamer can find the even a remotely relevant page that is puisiant to the present argument in under 1d6+1 seconds, he automatically gets his way.
Taxing: At 6th level, the power gamers ability to kill things is so great, that he can Cleave anything he likes. Over and over. I mean, who really care by then anyway?
Improved Tantrum: At 8th level, the duration of a power gamer's tantrum increases to 6 rounds + his Constitution bonus.
Delirium: At 9th level, just gaming with a power gamer is like some surrealistic David Lynch dream world. Anyone that succeeds at a DC 30 Will save may continue playing for 1d3 more hours with the power gamer. Failure indicates that the other player has fallen asleep, left the room, or fallen under the effects of confusion.
Always Wins: At 10 level, the power gamer kills it. Everytime. He doesn't even need to bring dice to the table. The DM just hands him a slip of paper with XP awards and treasure written on it. To save time, it is recommended that the DM just e-mail this information and play WoW or something on his XBox at home.... girlfriends are good, too.


4 comments:

Kuraylon said...

Hello, I recently discovered your blogspot, and I must say, very entertaining. But I could not help but be offended when I first saw your site when seeing the ad for WoW Duping right smack dab at the top of the page. Now, before you judge me on judging you too harshly, I realize it is one of those deplorable "ads by Google" banners, so I know that you may not even be aware of this. But I ask you, out of respect to the gaming community, if possible, to be more careful about what ads are displayed on your blog.

Thanks, and keep up the funny stuff
K

jim pinto said...

i have no control over what ads appear on the google banner, sadly.

which ad was it?

Herb said...

Wow Jim, you're good. I'm going to use my Tantrum ability tonight, and make my GM approve this class. No, not really, but it was a fun read.

I'd rather have my mimic rogue or gibbering mouther bard approved... Power Game!

jim pinto said...

I'm actually working on a mimic ability for the Raavnia rogues, but I'm not sure about the gibbering thing.